Cornelius Fudge and the Legacy of Devolution
by Mudblood Leech
Summary: Somehow the Wizarding World works, either because of or in spite of the Ministry of Magic. Is there an ancient conspiracy behind the absurd policies and ridiculous principles of the UK's magical governance, or are they all really that stupid?


**10:49PM**

**25th February  
****1980**

"I do wish you would stop tapping, Wally"

"Sorry Cornelius."

The Level 1 lobby of Britain's Ministry of Magic was busy for the first time in a decade. Furnishings that usually lay in a state of elegant neglect found themselves pressed into service as nervous wizards stood up to pace - before hurriedly sitting back down in a futile attempt to appear calm. A particular area of the antique carpet was thinning under the busy pointed heel of a slim witch in the corner.  
ornelius Fudge was here, like the rest of them, to see what roles they would play in the new administration.

"How much longer will they be?"

Walter Engrum had long been a friend of the Fudge family, and served as campaign manager during their recent tour of the UK's magical communities. A somewhat nervous ex-Ravenclaw, he often got carried away when answering straightforward questions - a liability in his father's auction house, but a useful asset in political service.

"The chalice has been known to take several days" offered Hubert Pommel, the dignified senior adviser.

"...bitter old squib...", Walter mumbled.

Hubert sat up a little.

"I feel you need to demonstrate more care when expressing yourself, Wally. There was a significant pro-muggle element to this year's campaign as you should well remember, and their wishes must be taken into consideration"

"Not acted upon, then?" asked Fudge, mainly to pass the time

"Taken into consideration." Hubert replied firmly.

Walter was not convinced by this.

"Pro-muggle or not, I still don't see why we use an enchanted object to choose our government. I mean, how does it know who is right for each job?"

Hubert leaned back in his polished chair with the air of someone about to deliver an important piece of information.  
"It was a necessary concession to the ruling government of the time"

"But he was a demented, regicidal tyrant!" exclaimed Walter, a little too loudly. One of the nearby pacers frowned at him, but a nervous giggle emerged from elsewhere in the room.

"Nevertheless, the Wizards' Council recognized him as the legitimate authority. The lamentable fact is not that he fought a civil war merely to have some meagre influence over his magical ancestors, it is that he won."

Walter replied. "So he forced us into this preposterous ritual. However, our magical knowledge today is far in advance of whatever his reluctant hedge-wizards could come up with. Why do we need to keep playing along with this tradition, when we have been doing it unthinkingly for over three hundred years?"

"I believe you just answered your own question, Walter"

Grumbling, Wally continued. "But doesn't it matter that this man was an enemy? For all we know, his chalice could be making deliberately poor decisions to weaken our society!"

Hubert looked around the room discreetly and made no further comment.

After more long minutes of waiting, Straining ears detected the cancellation of the silencing charm upon the Minister's office. The doors then opened, and people began to file out and stand in a line against the near wall

"Not the full ceremony..." sighed Wally.

Hubert seemed more approving. "It appears that Minister Bagnold appreciates tradition more than you do, Walter."

After the coughing and shuffling had created a relatively neat line of new appointees, the Minister herself addressed the assembled parties.

"The duty falls upon me as duly elected leader of the magical community of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland to become Minister and to form a Ministry of Government in the name of the sovereign."

Uncertain applause blossomed gradually throughout the increasingly stuffy chamber.

Millicent Bagnold - now flanked by her Undersecretaries - began to read the list of appointees. Like everyone else in the room, Fudge was too busy listening for a particular name and paid little attention to the other announcements.  
Hubert was idly taking notes while Walter watched each face and reported their reactions, the pair of them having organized some scheme beforehand. Fudge was watching the new Minister so intensely that he almost missed the announcement when it came;  
"By the Chalice of Cromwell, The Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes shall be led by Jonathan Umbridge and staff"  
It could have been worse, Fudge considered. While not the most glamorous of Departments, the work was steady and relatively straightforward.

After the reading had concluded, the Minister returned to her new office and the new Department heads split up and spread themselves throughout the room.  
John spotted Fudge's hat before anything else, but was pleased at his recent success and felt no need to rebuke his running mate's fashion sense at this time.

"Not bad eh, gentlemen?" asked the new Assistant Minister for Magical Accidents and Catastrophes, carefully making his way past two discarded chairs

"Indeed, Assistant Minister" agreed Hubert

"Absolutely, Assistant Minister" echoed Walter

Cornelius just looked up at him. "At least it's not Magical Maintenance."

John laughed once, before dragging a chair up to the impromptu committee.

"Looks like the Muggle rights lobby delivered after all. I told you, Hubert!"

The neat advisor sat primly. "It was a risky proposition, Assistant Minister. Traditional influences such as the Pure-Blood lobby and the Anti-Werewolf League have far more influence with the Wizengamot"

"Ah, but times are changing" Jonathan claimed. "This business with the Death Eaters keeps getting worse. The public are less interested in how _pure_ their blood is; more so that it stays inside of their bodies for the foreseeable future."

Somewhere, a clock began to chime and the quartet stood up to make their way to the elevator queue.

"Ah, there's Perkins. I should congratulate him." John stated, as he lead their small group to an isolated pair near the back of the line

"Umbridge, my good man. Congratulations! Your own department!" The ebullient man in his late 50s shook Jonathan firmly by the hand

"And to you, sir, a real achievement to get back in so fast!"

Hubert frowned slightly at this breach of decorum, but both men seemed too happy to be offended right now. Perkins had been fired from his position in the DMLE by the previous Minister for some unknown transgression, and it seemed that Bagnold had overturned the ruling. The Misuse of Muggle Artefacts office had a reputation for high turnover, but this was still a positive development for Perkins.

"It's all down to this young fellow here" Perkins gushed, indicating the slight red-headed man to his right. "Albus recommended him – didn't he, Arthur?"

"Yes sir" replied the exhausted looking man. "Mister Crouch agreed I was well-suited for the job". Arthur nodded in the direction of his new boss, who was deep in conversation with Rufus Scrimgeour.

"That's the spirit! Anyway, must be off. Best of luck to you!" Perkins cried as he escorted Arthur Weasley to their new office.

As they waited for the lift again, John briefed his team.

"Hubert, I pencilled you in as my Undersecretary. Cornelius, you are offered the post of Junior Minister, do you accept, Yes? Good. Wally, You are Cornelius' Undersecretary and you answer to Hubert. All of these appointments will be finalized after the inspection next week."

The newly-formed Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes entered the lift.

* * *

"See?"

Cornelius Fudge looked around, confused, He had no idea where he was, nor who the two men before him were. Only the presence of Wally off to the side and failing to conceal his amusement was familiar and reassuring.

"See what? Where am I? Who are you?" Fudge demanded.

The two men simply laughed, and Walter answered for them.

"Junior Minister, this is one of our Departmental offices. Assistant Minister Umbridge asked you to liaise with the Obliviator squad. You expressed doubt that two men could perform such advanced memory work, and Mr Peasegood suggested a demonstration."

"I see" Cornelius declared, still feeling disorientated. "Where's Hubert?"

"The Undersecretary is with the Assistant Minister in the main office, selecting members for the Accidental Magic Reversal Squad. It was decided that you should chair the Muggle-Worthy Excuse Committee. Additionally, a mandate has been circulating that requires a certain proportion of Ministry staff be muggle-born and we have a quota of three to fulfil.

"Fine... do I have an office?"

"An office is listed in my notes" replied Walter.

"Do you happen to know where it is?" asked Cornelius with stretched patience

"No, Junior Minister. I'm afraid no-one has seen it for a number of years, though occasionally the cleaners report hearing it. Something about a late-night demonstration of the Fidelius Charm after a few too many drinks, or so the legend goes. There's a spare desk in my office if you would prefer, Junior Minister"

Fudge sighed. "Lead the way, Wally…"

* * *

"How many more candidates?"

"Seven, Junior Minister. Would you like me to postpone the remaining interviews?"

Walter hovered behind Fudge's chair radiating keen readiness.

"No, no… We'll get through it… Actually Wally, can you pour me a little drink?"

"I feel I should remind you, Junior Minister, that employees of the Ministry of Magic are strongly discouraged from partaking of alcohol during their work hours" reprimanded Walter as he poured two glasses of Firewhiskey from the bureau at the back of their shared office.

"Consider me thoroughly reminded, Wally" retorted the minister, as they clinked their small glasses together before sipping. "I doubt anyone around here pays close attention to that particular guideline"

"Mister Crouch, Junior Minister" commented Walter.

"Well yes, of course he would never…"

"No, Junior Minister, I meant that Mister Crouch has entered the department and will come through that door in about ten seconds, at which point he will probably see us holding glasses of Firewhiskey, unless of course you choose to hide-"

"Yes, thank you Walter" said the minister hurriedly as he wordlessly vanished the glasses. "Mister Crouch! Welcome to our office, I'm afraid it's a little disorganized at present."

Crouch looked around the old room hesitantly before stepping through the doorway. "Fudge. I have here some briefing notes you will need. I expect full interdepartmental co-operation. Often our Auror teams have need of Obliviation personnel and- do you smell Firewhiskey?"

"Personally I prefer to drink it, Barty" said a rough voice from the direction of the corridor

All present turned back toward the doorway, which now framed one Alastor Moody and one timid-looking man being dragged in his wake.

"Found this one creeping around the Department of Mysteries, said he was here to see you". The legendary Auror thrust the slight figure toward Fudge's desk, where he collapsed into a chair.

"Tobias Setrat" whispered Walter. "One of our prospective muggle-born employees, Junior Minister."

"Got bored waiting, eh?" asked Fudge in what he hoped was a jovial tone. "Not to worry, I know the Ministry must seem terribly exciting to muggle-borns."

Fudge looked up from the speechless interviewee to see that Moody had already departed. Even Crouch looked a little surprised by the sudden appearance of Auror Moody – though nominally Crouch's subordinate, Alastor always acted with a supreme authority that his Ministry colleagues found baffling and terrifying in equal measure.

"Yes, well, I must return to my Department… gentlemen." offered Crouch before making his hasty way from the room.

After a few seconds of quiet contemplation, the three men in the office mentally shook themselves and continued with normality.

Fudge reached toward the already impressive pile of paperwork on the desk, extracting a purple folder after a few seconds of effort. "Since you are here Mister Setrat, we may as well carry out your interview straight away".

Tobias' look of unrestrained terror widened further, but after a few seconds he was able to stammer out "yes, absolutely sir" before coughing into a strange-looking handkerchief from one of his pockets.

Setrat noticed the intrigued glances of the other two. "Oh, this is a- a muggle invention called a tissue."

The Junior Minister looked surprised, and as was often the case decided to express his surprise in a forthright manner. "Seems rather wasteful. Why don't they just use ordinary self-cleaning handkerchiefs?"  
After a few seconds of Walter's urgent whispering in his ear, Fudge's expression did not change.  
"…is the sort of thing old, ignorant wizards would ask! We at the Department of Magical Catastrophes must remain aware of muggle culture, as much of our work involves dealing with them personally."

It was at this point that Walter took over from the Junior Minister, who looked far too pleased with himself.  
"Can you tell us a little about yourself, Mister Setrat?" asked the Undersecretary.

The young man had calmed a little by this point. "My colleagues call me Toby, and for the past few years I've been doing intern work for the muggle Conservative party. Recent events have encouraged me to look elsewhere for employment. Frankly we are about as popular as a Dementor at a wedding"

Privately observing that his own home life would be much simpler if this had been the case for him, Fudge went on. "What were your responsibilities in this role?"

"Officially I was meant to deliver leaflets to the voters and assist in general co-ordination. My other job was to watch the election for magical interference. Mister Heath and a few others in government were vaguely aware of the situation with You-Know-Who, and for some reason they though he might co-opt the democratic process." Tobias' expression at this point was unreadable.

"It doesn't sound like there was much scope for your magical talents in this role. Was that a problem?" probed Fudge.

"I confess there was a certain amount of spellwork involved in fulfilling my tasks in the constituency while doing the required investigation."

"And you don't see that as co-opting the democratic process?" enquired Walter

"Not really, sir." answered Tobias.

"Why not?" queried Cornelius

"Because I was working on behalf of the Ministry!" protested Tobias.

Cornelius Fudge sighed deeply. "When can you start?"


End file.
